Driving at the speed of young

At the age of 16 teenagers have a burning passion to drive. Driving symbolizes freedom and the beginning of a long process, in which the teenager gains independence from his parents. However, teenagers are reckless and driven by hormones, this leads to a lot of accidents involving young drivers.

I believe this is not a good idea(what isn't?). First of all in Israel teenagers go to the army at the age of 18, this is ironic because young people wield(ww.) a weapon at 18 but receive a driver's license only at the age of 19. Also, I believe young age is not the problem. I think increasing the age will only affect the age people drive but not their experience. They will still be new drivers, thus this(explain what "this" is?) accomplishes nothing.

Instead of increasing the driver's age, I think other measures can be taken. For example, more money should be invested in explaining the dangers of wild driving. Also, I think young drivers should be more controlled. The 3 month trial period is not enough; it should be topped with an extra test to see if they really drive safely.

In conclusion I believe the age should not be raised, definitely not to 19. I think driving at a young age is a too important part of our culture and it will be(ww. - have) a really big impact on our society. I think education and an extra safety test can help young drivers a lot more.

Good work!

(90)

Daphna

The Internet is for...

Globalization is coming upon us. One of the most powerful tools at its disposal is the Internet. The internet is a network, capable of transfering data between computers. This network consists of sites, online blogs, facebook and twitter.

The Internet is a good tool to express yourelf to the world. Blogs and forums were the first to indroduce this capacity. Afterwards came facebook and twitter, which introduced micro-blogging combined with social connections. In addition to communication, the internet introduces commercials. These commercials usually cost less than T.V commercials. These commercials can help small businesses rise.

However, the Internet is not safe. Sites like Facebook and Twitter tend to share more information with the world then(sp.) we(ww.) intend to. This makes cyber stalking, information gathering and harassment a lot easier. In addition to that, Facebook and Twitter sell the information they gather about their customers to advertisement companies(explain what is wrong about that).

In conclusion, I believe the internet is a good tool for communication. People around the world can meet and share. However, it is a dangerous place, and should be used with high care(phr.)

(90)

Daphna.

The Mezada

Israel might be a small country, but its far from being not interesting. It has beautiful sights, old historical sites and even new and modern cities. Israel has a little bit of everything, but one thing stands out the most.

Mezada, This place Includes a big historic event. It has magnificent architecture and a breath taking view. Lets begin with the history, Mezada was built by Antioch because he was certain that someone is(gr.) going to attack him. He built a fort on top of a mountain. Inside the fort there was a big palace. The architecture is(gr.) amazing, and Antioch overcomes(gr.) tough problems by amazing engineering.

However, the place has another story. When the Romans wanted to kill all Jews in Israel, a group of them gathered in Mezada, which was long ago abandoned. After the Romans found them there, they attacked the fort. The Jews did not want to give the romans the pleasure of killing them, so they just committed suicide.

Mezada is an architectural wonder and a place with a great tale of bravery. This is the perfect place to visit when you come to Israel.

This is great, but you were supposed to pick an opinion essay topic, not a description. However, you've done a great job, so I'll grade your essay anyway.

(100-10 for posting late= 90)

Daphna

The is A hidden I in team.

There are generally 2 types of sports. Team sports and individual sports. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Here I will discuss the difference and the benefits of each type of sport.

Team sports like soccer,(or) basketball etc... (מיותר) tend to have less individual skill(s) involved in them. That means that if one player is really good, while the rest of the team is not as good, the shining player might loose because of them. However, in Individual(sports) a different problem arises. If you are not a very good player, than your chances of wining are slim, and you can't use the help of (your) teammates, (like) for example, (in) chess,(or a) 100m runs(ww. - race).

I prefer Team sports because I like being able to support and being supported by my team. I think that the fun factor in team sport and co-operation is greater then(sp.) (in) individual sports. Also, I believe that sports is a great tool for making friends. Team sports encourages(gr.) communication and people can easily meet other people this way.

In conclusion, I think Team sports are slightly better then(sp.) individual(sports). However, individual (sports) has(gr.) its(ww.) benefits. I am a more(wo. - more of a) team based sport person.(phr. - player my self).

Quite good actually...

(85 - 10 for posting it late = 75)

Daphna

Around the world

i 17 Extra street

Holon

12.11.10

See the World travel agency
17 First Street
New-York

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Rasputin(think of a more normal name and stop trying to be cute) and I am 22 years old. My family and I are interested in a tour around the U.S. I am very interested in computers, nature and gambling. I have never been to the U.S but I have been to Brazil.

The type of trip I would be interested in should include aspects of nature and gambling. Thus, I would like to visit Nevada, see the Grand Canyon and visit (Las) Vegas. Also, I would(like) to visit San-Francisco, I heard it has a lot of technology centers.

Also(use a different word), I would like to know what the costs for such a trip are. I am looking for a good hotel, but not an expensive one. I would like to receive information on the guide I will receive(phr.). The bus type is also very important, I would like a special tourist bus.

I hope the trip will go as planned, and we can reach all the destinations as intended. I look forward to your reply.

Truly yours,
Rasputin Dawn.

Interesting, as I expected.

(95)

Daphna

Broaden up.

5 Don Herezfelt street
Nationalville
07.04.2010

The station manager
Radio 106.943 FM
15 Garden street
Lakecity

Dear sir/madam,

I am writing to(מיותר) regarding the new show production for teenagers. I have an idea for a good show you might like. Here is a summery of my idea.

The show's goal is to broaden teenagers' interests. Except(for) the usual internet and facebook lurking, there are alot of other activities teenagers can do. This show can bring(ww. - present) the most interasting things on the radio. Also, people who praticiapte in activities can come and(ww.) explain about them.

Our generation has a simple problem. All teenagers are bored, very bored. However, they usually sit on the net(phr.) and have a hard time finding new activities. This is where the show comes in. Also, teenagers can meet alot of new (and) interesting people and learn about other subjects too(ww. - as well).

I would like to point out that making(ww.) this show might be problematic. Making it really interasting is not easy(why?). But if it will happen(ww.+gr.) it is going to be a great show. Thank you for reading my idea. I hope you like it.

Yours truely,

Rufert Pole

(80)

Daphna

Me.Gal

I will be writing about my trip to Meigal. Meigal is a Galilee Technology Center. Mainly its(wo.) used for researches(מיותר) in Biology,Chemistry and more. The trip was really interasting(sp.). I learned alot of new things. Also, I had alot of fun and even tasted some wine.

The trip started when we all gathered near (our) school and got up on a bus to the north. It was a really long way but eventually we arrived. We met 2 people outside. One tought(sp.) us about the Methane gas and used it to cook marshmellows. The other one let us search in the dirt for rat skeletons.
Later on, we arrived at Meigal and we recreated the wine making proccess, and we made some cheese. It was tasty.

After that we came to our motel. We had dinner and we went to our rooms. In our rooms there was alot of commotion. We ran, laughed and especialy wake(gr.) up the teachers. After that, we eventually went to sleep. (On) The next day, we went to a winery. The place was very interasting(sp.), and we had a full tour that explained(ww. - a tour does not explain) (to) us how the wine is made. After the tour we professionally tasted wine.

In conclussion, I would like to say that the trip was really fun. I enjoyed the meals and I really enjoyed tasting wine. But, I think the skeleton rats excevetions(sp.) made some people really feel(wo.) unpleasnt(ww.). I really hope there will be more trips like this in the future.

(82)
Daphna

Voulenteering thing

52 Laka Street
Brokolyn
July 5, 2004

HPKEL manager
HPKEL
32 Do street
Deertown

Dear sir/madam,

I would like to apply for a voulenteer job of being an instructor for on of the groups. I saw your advertise at a local newspaper and decided to apply.

I am an 11th grade student at Kugel high school. During the past two years I have been instructing courses to() children between the ages of 9 - 12 about Dungeons and Dragons. Which is a game that evolves imagination. Also, I have been at the Mashatzim, A teen age youth movement powered by schools, two week course during the summer between the 9th and 10th grade.

Through out these two activities I have gained alot of leadership skills and the ability to work with children and teenagers too. I think I have the ability to help and support the children of HPKEL and make them enjoy the courses you give them.

I have added a scan of my "mashazim" instructor diploma and my recommendation. I would be very happy to come for an interview or send any other information you require.

I look forward to your reply.
Yours truely
Jack Donegy

The trip tripped me

13 Angry Street
Towncity
30 February, 2010

Happy Tour agency
15 Happy Street
Towncity

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter because I am unsatisfied with the service I received from your tour agency. The information on your site made me think the tour would have been good.

My first complaint is about the food. Your site claimed top quality catering with steaks in the menu. However, we received tasteless buns with some humus. My favorite thing about tours is the good food. But that’s not my only complaint. my next complaint is about the rooms. We had rats in them. It's disgusting and annoying.

Also, the website said that we were supposed to visit a lot of interesting places that we "missed". I just sat in my bus seat, and listened to the world's most boring man speaking to a microphone. The only good place we visited was the gas station.

In conclusion, am very disappointed with the service I recieved. I would like you to change your site information to be more accurate. Also you should change the hotel your working with.

I look forward to a prompt reply.
Truly yours,
Liz Lemon